Because I don't want One to be able to use it against us! [ She crosses her arms. ] He's going to come after any weak spots we have and if he saw inside my mind, then he saw... this too.
[ She sighs. ] I still love Jonathan, Steve. But I can't deny that over the last week there were a few times when I... I felt something for you too.
I didn't come here just to hurt you. I just needed to be honest with both of you.
[Everything that Nancy is saying makes complete since. Of course Vecna would use any weaknesses possible in order to take them down, use that against them. He can't be upset or angry with Nancy for taking those precautions.
Vecna has already invaded her mind once.
And yet, this conversation is twisting a knife in his heart. He doesn't want to hear how Nancy still loves Jonathan, he doesn't want to hear how she's had moments where she might still care for him too. ]
[ Nancy sighs in frustration and shakes her head. She doesn't know how she expected Steve to react, but this wasn't it. She presses her lips together. ] Okay. Now you know.
[ She swallows and moves back towards the door, pausing.] I'm really sorry, Steve. I wasn't... this wasn't what I wanted.
[How was Nancy wanting Steve to act exactly? Did she expect him to be excited about the news? Brush it off his shoulder like no big deal? Unfortunately, Steve does neither. This conversation feels like a slap in the face.
Especially since Nancy is well aware of Steve's own feelings. ]
And you thought telling me this would make everything better?
[ She looks at the floor, at the space between them, and shakes her head. ] No. I thought it was honest. I knew it wouldn't make anything better or easier for anyone.
I just... [ She looks up and searches his eyes. ] I wish my feelings were simpler, but they aren't. They're just this big complicated mess and I don't know what to do about them without hurting someone and I hate it.
[Steve can feel his jaw tighten. Nancy isn't trying to start an argument, he understands that fully but her confessing is just twisting the knife into his ribcage.
This feels like yet another barrier being built between them. Steve was an idiot to believe that maybe they could actually be friends or-]
Fair? [ She doesn't mean to get defensive, it's just easier than letting herself consider how right he is. She had thought she had let him go, but then they'd gone through Spring Break and everything had come flooding back. She was so proud of who he'd become and she couldn't deny that there wasn't a part of her that couldn't help but think about how things might be different now. ] Was it fair of you to tell me that I was the one in your dream? [ She shifts on her feet, meeting his gaze head on.] Why did you tell me that if you didn't want... something from me?
[Steve turns his head away, arms folding over his own chest. Nancy has a fair point, she typically does. Why did he confess his feelings when he knows damn well she still loves Jonathan.
She's always going to choose him. She's made that pretty clear. ]
And that was the only reason? [ She shakes her head. ] Did you ever think about what it would do to me if something had happened? If I had to live knowing that you still... [ She sucks in a breath, remembering the feel of vines twisting around her arms and neck, watching them squeeze the life out of Steve and Robin on the opposite wall.
She stiffens up. ] Forget it. You're right. We don't have to do this. I'm sorry I bothered you.
No! I don't think any of this is easy. Just because we're not together any more doesn't mean I don't care about you, Steve. [ She can still feel the way her stomach had tightened in panic when he'd been dragged down into the lake. The way that there had been no question about jumping in after him.]
I'm not trying to make this even harder. I just don't want to give Vecna any more ammunition. I knew if I told Jonathan the truth that he'd be upset. And there's a possibility that he would say something to you about it. I wanted you to be prepared. That's all.
[ Steve's whole jaw goes tight at Nancy's words. A part of him wants to ask when she suddenly decided to care because he has plenty of moments that she didn't. He fight with Jonathan in the ally, she had ran straight to Jonathan. Not once did she check on him after his brutal fight with Billy Hargrove. Why? Jonathan.
Starcourt mall and the trauma left behind from being tortured. Not once did she ask him what happened. Why? She was so torn up about Jonathan moving.
There is a pattern here. ]
Right.
[Prepare him? When has she ever done that ? Certainly not when she fell in love with Jonathan behind his back.]
I don't need you to prepare me for anything, Nancy. I'm fine.
[ Nancy's jaw tightens in response, and the hurt look that flashes across her face is quickly replaced with a grimace. She nods, loosening her jaw to speak. ] Okay. Good.
Goodnight, Steve. [ She swallows, looking at him once more before moving to let herself out the front door.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ She sighs. ] I still love Jonathan, Steve. But I can't deny that over the last week there were a few times when I... I felt something for you too.
I didn't come here just to hurt you. I just needed to be honest with both of you.
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Vecna has already invaded her mind once.
And yet, this conversation is twisting a knife in his heart. He doesn't want to hear how Nancy still loves Jonathan, he doesn't want to hear how she's had moments where she might still care for him too. ]
Right.
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[ She swallows and moves back towards the door, pausing.] I'm really sorry, Steve. I wasn't... this wasn't what I wanted.
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Especially since Nancy is well aware of Steve's own feelings. ]
And you thought telling me this would make everything better?
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I just... [ She looks up and searches his eyes. ] I wish my feelings were simpler, but they aren't. They're just this big complicated mess and I don't know what to do about them without hurting someone and I hate it.
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This feels like yet another barrier being built between them. Steve was an idiot to believe that maybe they could actually be friends or-]
I'm not doing this.....
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[ She sighs, shaking her head.] Steve, I'm not... I'm not asking anything from you. I'm just telling you. You don't have to do anything.
Just, be careful. That's all I'm asking.
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[Steve points between them as he speaks. He takes notice in her defensive stance, her tone. He really doesn't want an argument here but-]
It's not fair.
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She's always going to choose him. She's made that pretty clear. ]
Because I never got the chance to tell you.
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She stiffens up. ] Forget it. You're right. We don't have to do this. I'm sorry I bothered you.
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[But Steve couldn't keep that from her anymore. He had always tried his best to be honest in their relationship. Even when Nancy wasn't.
He knew she was always going to choose Jonathan. That was never going to change. ]
What? That I still care about you ?
[He shoots her a look.]
You think thats easy for me?
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I'm not trying to make this even harder. I just don't want to give Vecna any more ammunition. I knew if I told Jonathan the truth that he'd be upset. And there's a possibility that he would say something to you about it. I wanted you to be prepared. That's all.
DRAMA
Starcourt mall and the trauma left behind from being tortured. Not once did she ask him what happened. Why? She was so torn up about Jonathan moving.
There is a pattern here. ]
Right.
[Prepare him? When has she ever done that ? Certainly not when she fell in love with Jonathan behind his back.]
I don't need you to prepare me for anything, Nancy. I'm fine.
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Goodnight, Steve. [ She swallows, looking at him once more before moving to let herself out the front door.]
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[He watches as she scurries towards the door and his own jaw remains tight. He has so much He wants to say.
Needs to say.
And yet-]