[Because he struggled to understand her grief and why she clung to it so desperately? None of that mattered much now. Steve had moved past it on his own.]
You were worried about - graduating and jobs and parties and I wanted that for you. I wanted you to live your life. I couldn't ask you to come take down the Hawkins Lab with me between basketball games.
[and then, more quietly-]
I didn't want you tangled up in all of this any more than you needed to be.
[But he's tried his best not to hold it against her. He pushed her away with his selfishness and Jonathan had been by her side like a little lost puppy from the get go.]
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[Their relationship wasn't perfect by any means but he at least thought she was happy with him at times but maybe that was just a lie too?]
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That you made me happy. That I loved you. It just - I needed things I couldn't ask you for.
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[Because he struggled to understand her grief and why she clung to it so desperately? None of that mattered much now. Steve had moved past it on his own.]
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[she makes a quiet noise of frustration.]
You were worried about - graduating and jobs and parties and I wanted that for you. I wanted you to live your life. I couldn't ask you to come take down the Hawkins Lab with me between basketball games.
[and then, more quietly-]
I didn't want you tangled up in all of this any more than you needed to be.
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[And maybe his head hadn't been in the right place but he wanted her to move on too. He realizes now that was asking far too much of her. ]
And I would have.
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[in more ways than one]
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[He runs his hands down his face in frustration.]
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[But he's tried his best not to hold it against her. He pushed her away with his selfishness and Jonathan had been by her side like a little lost puppy from the get go.]
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[her eyes are hot, her shoulders pulled sharp.]
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[It would be wrong to hold that against her despite how much it had hurt him.]
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[and she doesn't know how to fix it.]
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[He doesn't exactly know how to fix it either or how they can get past this hurdle.]
I've learned to move past it.
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[she takes a breath.]
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[He's not going to stop her.]
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[She needs to do some healing on her own first.]
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[but she finally deflates slightly, pulling open the door and dropping into the passenger's seat.]
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[He mutters lowly as he moves to get in himself.]
Don't want your mother sending all of fucking Hawkins to track me down.
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[muttered as she buckles herself in.]
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[He mutters back lowly.]
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How do I make you believe how I felt about you?
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[He's accepted the fact that he just wasn't enough for her. That weren't as perfect as he thought and thats fine.]
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